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If you've ever wondered the above, I urge you to go immediately to YouTube and watch the highlights of the Chennai Superkings vs. Kolkata Knightriders match from yesterday. There you'll see your answer.Dhoni won the toss (which, to be fair, was probably more down to luck than skill) and opted to bat. The batting was painful. There's no other way to put it. It was dire, really dire. Hayden was disappointing again, Raina wasn't much better; Vijay gave the ball a fair whack, but couldnt' stick in long enough. With the run rate, predictions had the CSK total
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If you've ever wondered the above, I urge you to go immediately to YouTube and watch the highlights of the Chennai Superkings vs. Kolkata Knightriders match from yesterday. There you'll see your answer.Dhoni won the toss (which, to be fair, was probably more down to luck than skill) and opted to bat. The batting was painful. There's no other way to put it. It was dire, really dire. Hayden was disappointing again, Raina wasn't much better; Vijay gave the ball a fair whack, but couldnt' stick in long enough. With the run rate, predictions had the CSK total
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Aah, Clint ... I remember when Sid at Thoughts from the Dustbin used to write about me all the time. I was her page header once, you know, and she liked my legs if no one else did ... sigh ... check my legs, Clint. They're all right, aren't they?"clint": Jesus, Ritz. Get a grip, man. I told you I had an effect on the man. You heard it here first. Eat your hearts out, Dog and Biatch.
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To: nathan.hauritz@kingofmyownbackyard.com.auFrom: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.ukHey Nate, check it!I took 10 wickets in this last test. I totally rule at cricket and I'm musically talented. Can't wait to come to Oz later this year ... will you even be on the Aussie team?Gray***To: graeme.swann@iamagit.co.ukFrom: nathan.hauritz@kingofmyownbackyard.com.auHey Graeme,10 wickets, eh? Against Bangladesh. What an achievement. I notice you couldn't manage it against South Africa. Or us. I may have only just got my first 5 for, but at least it was against a half decent team.
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Despite a dodgy internet connection and the dire ITV4 commentary team (seriously, Ronnie Irani?), I managed to sit down and watch the CSK match yesterday. This match, against the reigning champs, Deccan Chargers, was always going to be to tough. Gilly's team looked swish on paper - providing Symonds wasn't too drunk or the local fishing too tempting - and they were coming off the back of shock defeat in their first match; they'd be out there looking for redemption. But CSK are no slouches either, with Hayden, Dhoni, Vijay, Little Albie Morkel and Mularithuran in the mix, but
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Can't get tickets for this year's Boxing Day test? Afraid the tickets you have will seat you with the freaky Barmy Army? Or just can't afford the fuckers to beign with? Do I have a solution for you ...Pop on over to the Sofitel hotel in central Melbourne. I have it on good authority that the urinals in the men's bathroom on the 6th floor give a nice view of the MCG. So you don't actually need to buy tickets.You just have to drink enough to pee for 4 - 5 days.And you might need strong glasses.
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They were goodand we were shitWe lost by just a little bit.As per usualI didn't see our bowlingBut I saw our batting and the wickets were rolling.Their fielding was stylishTheir bowling was swishHussey and Hopes did alright-ishBut it wasn't enoughWe needed something big... jesus, I just can't rhyme today. I have a hangover, I struggled to watch the match on an awful website that kept coming in and out (particularly when My Lord was batting, so that has put me in a right fowl mood)
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Once again, the match started while I was asleep and I had to go to work, so I only got to see some of our batting and none of our bowling. This, of course, means I missed My Blessed actually showing up and taking 3-46 (I hear he was "mauled" by Tuffey - lucky Dazza!) and Mitchy's dancing. Mitchy really is just too happy lately - I think he is secretly pleased that someone else's relationship is being trumpeted over the media (although if Pup's mum puts in an appearance, I might get scared). The good news is that it
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In case you had forgotten, I managed to get a bit carried away with the IPL (there was that woman, remember?) for day or two and have now found myself taking part in the Paddlesweep's spectacular IPL Blogtastic Superblogular battle. Having recently told our Miss Jane that I tend to only write about Australian cricket (with the odd exception), I will soon be a cruel mockery of myself as I write match reports on all Chennai Super Kings matches in the IPL.
I don't plan to stop writing about Australia, though (that would be impossible),
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In the absence of Pup, Mussey moved up to number 4 today. It wasn't that successful, but it was only a temporary measure - we should be seeing Tasmanian George Bailey in the side for the next match, which I'm excited about because I'm a huge Jimmy Stewart fan - and it is always good to experiment like that. We have to be flexible. After all, it's only a matter of time before Rhianna breaks a fingernail and Punter has to rush home mid-tour as well.
New Zealand, George - you're going to
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We have been asked to respect Pup's privacy.
Piss right off.
The guy has gone home from New Zealand because his shy and retiring missus flashed her breasts to a footballer a couple of years back and the picture has just been published.
Sorry, but I don't care.
A divorce; a death in the family; lack of golf; a birth; your pet pig learning to fly - these are all valid reasons for the vice-captain of an international cricket team to leave in the middle of a tour and go
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Tendulkar: Mr Bradman ...
Bradman: ... that's Sir Bradman, actually.
T: ... of course, sorry. Sir Bradman.
B: Call me Don. The rest of the world does. So, I hear you've done quite well.
T: I'm the first person ever to get a double century in an ODI. Did you ever do anything like that?
B: Well, I never played one-day cricket. My playing career ended in the 40s, remember? I did finish with a career average of 99.94 though.
T: Mine's about 55
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After the loss in the first ODI, Punter put out a call to arms telling his batsmen (himself included) to get their shit together. It seems they all answered the call, except Punter himself. And Pup. Hads, Cammie and the Muss all got over 50; Twatto got 47 (just under a milestone - now, that's not like our Twatto, is it?) and Jimmeh did all right again, this time making 29 before being run out.
Having said that, if we learned anything from the first ODI it's that we will probably need to be getting 290+ to
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... seeing as I am lacking in inspiration, I thought I'd post a couple of pictures instead. Boring, I know, but let's hope I get a clearer head and some ideas tomorrow.
It should be easier when we've won :-)
Lords under snow, January 2010 Once upon a time, NSW's Captain Kat was Derbyshire's Captain Kat, and we spent a lot of time at the cricket (usually watching Derbyshire lose); this was one of the many days we had to
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Dear Cricket Australia and NZ Cricket,
My name is John Howard. You might remember me as the little guy from Bennelong who made lots of noise in the Australian parliament in the 80s and early 90s. And then I was Prime Minister of that country for about 11 years, although everyone is still trying to work out why. Even me.
I would like to be president of the ICC. I think you should nominate me because:
I coined the term "cricket tragic" (or claim to, anyway)
I'm white.
My middle
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Right, listen up! You all clearly misunderstood me ... when I said I was bored and wanted a bit of excitement, it was on the proviso that Australia still end up winning, if only by a lesser margin. So what the hell is going on?
How dare New Zealand feel they have the right to win not one, but two matches against us? And how dare the guy who did most of the work be an old, chubby fucker?
Jeez, Scottie ... you've really let yourself go, mate.
I
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Dammit, Bangladesh - I really thought you had this one. Decent batting performance and a miserable one from England, with the exception of Eeeewwoooinn Morgan (or however you spell it) who became the first guy to get a century for two different countries (or something like that) (it was England, I wasn't that interested) (I would have been if they'd lost).
Bangladesh really looked on track to win after being put in to bat by Captain Cook and making 260, but just couldn't stop Morgan. Despite losing 8 wickets to a fairly average bowling attack, Morgan and
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Australia have named a so-called "preliminary" T20 squad to travel to the Caribbean. No one really knows why. It means shit. Basically around 30 guys have been named as players who might go to the Caribbean. They might not. And they might.
I'm not going to type it out because I don't have all day and I would rather avoid RSI, particularly when the list means jack because we all know CA will go with the usual suspects. The list includes Binga, Pseudo Nathan, a heap of state players that no one outside of Australia will have
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... was the match tied or did the Kiwis win? The way I see it (and I haven't, by the way, I've only read about it - Sky TV in the UK have decided to stop showing Australia's matches on the grounds that they keep winning and the Brits don't like it) NZ won. The match was tied, but because of the eliminator-in-which-no-one-was-eliminated, NZ won.
So our winning streak has come to an end, but the "series" was drawn.
Why does crapinfo still list the result as match tied?
And why
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Just as I have been questioning Mitchy's ability as a T20 bowler, the cheeky git only goes and takes 3 - 19 against New Zealand. It was nice to see him bat a bit higher up the order, which is something he's been wanting to try, even if he only managed 1 run.
And when the hell did he get so scary?
This one raises the eyebrows, doesn't it:
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On an emotive whim, many Australians will tell you that our greatest day of mourning is the anniversary of the day we lost the Ashes after 17 straight years in 2005. That day sucked. I cried.
True cricket fans, however, will always return to the 25th February.
On that day, in 2001, the world stopped turning, if only for a moment; birds stopped singing; dogs declined to bark; children stopped laughing; the wind refused to whistle through the parched trees of Terra Australis and every Australian who had ever so much as looked at
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